Today I am a bundle of undesirable emotions: nervous, anxious, angry, worried...and a little lovey (this weather, the cool air and warm sunshine do it to me every time). Mostly, the unwanted emotions stem from my immediate family's current situations: jobless, bills to pay without money coming in, marital repair, mothering that is a constant "job", and just taking care of my house. I am finding myself going down this path of "why me" and doing some comparative justification, you know, that "so and so does this or doesn't do this" kind of garbage. I am just in a negative mood. I don't like it, and I am the only one who can change that, so why and the heck do I keep typing....just to vent and journal, there is some healing about putting one's thoughts and feelings down on paper (or a screen) for myself and anyone else to read, that brings a first awareness and step to a better attitude. So start cheering up woman~!
My life has not been easy this past year, but you know what, whose has...not to call out any of my beloved friends, but there was a lot of hand-holding and wet shoulders from my circle. Lots of support given and taken, lots of services provided in love and compassion, and a lot of generalized anxiety disorder going around combined with some depression and overwhelm...so I guess it is now my turn. I am truly glad my peeps have overcome their life slumps, I also feel good that I helped them through some of their crap (literally and figuratively). It is just time for a little "break" for me, something in my control and something just plain old GOOD to happen here at the Walker house. Hold each other tight this weekend!
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